Solo traveling✔️
How to always feel confident✔️
How to be safe on a journey✔️
I met many solo traveling women and many times I was very impressed. Some of them were very self-confident, some were not but doing their best. It’s quite interesting that the majority of people you meet while traveling are women.
However, I am a completely different case… I attracted troubles in every place in the world and had to learn a lot.
Once some pervert at the airport was begging me for the socks I was wearing, and it made me wondering how is this possible that out of thousands of people in the same place, a creepy man came to me.
This topic became very personal to me because it made my life difficult, and it was time to do something about it.
I do not think we can completely avoid challenging situations, but we can change our attitude and appreciate an opportunity to practice. It was very important for me, and now in retrospect, I can see how far I have traveled (literally and metaphorically) thanks to this. In fact, everything you learn on the way can be utilised in your everyday and professional life and significantly improve it.
It all begins with self-esteem and confidence. We all know that, but what does it actually mean?
It means, I like and love myself, also accept every part of me with all my past experience, including flaws and failures.
I am not looking for confirmation of my value outside, but I feel it inside.
I’m not looking for attention outside, just give it to myself as much as I need.
I know myself and my limits, what I agree with and what I don’t – sometimes these are not simple choices, but I do what is best for me.
Every day, I take care of myself, e.g. by ensuring myself, “I love every part of myself, including the one who messed up.”
I develop and educate myself to deal with various situations and to overcome challenges in a better way.
I listen to my inner self.
I believe in myself and my experience. I believe I can deal with every situation and put in work to see the result.
It works like a protective shield!
It is not expensive and does not require anything special.
It is such a paradox that nowadays we have so many well-educated people, much better than our ancestors, we have the possibilities and wider access to knowledge, and at the same time, the plague of people who do not feel “good enough”.
There is a common misunderstanding that self-confident people look down on others, act like a diva or arrogant, which is unpleasant and repels others. Although truly confident people are subtle.
If we do not have the confidence and self-value, there is a great chance that we will eventually become a doormat, and people will be wiping their shoes on it. Predators looks for an easy prey and if we carry such a syndrome, it will be difficult for us to avoid dangerous situations.
Investing in yourself never ends (in what you are drawn to, not necessarily diplomas etc.) Healing wounds from the past is the basis of our safety, on a daily basis and during travels. It absolutely does not rely on long-term therapies, where we analyze the past over and over again. These are old methods that direct our attention to painful things from the past, instead of healing. There are many good methods and everyone can find their own, maybe look back once again, draw conclusions, take responsibility and move forward.
What to do to feel more confident when traveling:
- an upright and relaxed attitude that says “I know where I’m going and what I’m doing” even if you have no idea what to do. I mastered it almost to perfection, I’m passing with cool face and attitude even through the hustle and bustle of taxi drivers, while the tourists around me are in total chaos. When you see your power, you will immediately feel more confident. You know what they say – “fake it until you make it”.
- Slow down and breathe. I know you think it’s a cliché, but it can save you in many situation. When you breathe deeply and slowly, your nervous system sends information to the brain that everything is fine. The heart beats at a normal pace, you avoid trembling hands, a tightness in the throat, redness on the face and these types of stress reactions.
Note that people with authority are usually calm and a bit slow. It is others who lean in their direction to hear what they say and wait for it with curiosity. In your own calm pace you can make much better decisions than in a hurry and chaos.
- If you ever get lost in a place that does not seem safe, it is better to adapt a slightly different attitude. This is no longer a ballerina walk. Observe how very masculine men walk, especially when they are “on a mission” 😉 They are quite fast, the back is straight, but the head is not necessarily as high as in the description of the first posture, but also the sight focused on the target as if you know where you were going (without looking sideways), hands along the body. I once found information that your hands can even be clenched into fists, which gives others a subconscious information that a person is angry and it is better to stay away.
- If you don’t like spending time in the airports, stations, ferry ports, etc., then prepare your favourite things so that you create your own world, e.g. headphones, favorite music, podcasts, movies, audiobooks. If you have to watch your surroundings, you can just keep the headphones on without playing anything, it will just create a kind of a safe zone for not being disturbed. If you have a scarf, you can wrap it around and even cover your head in it (I additionally spray my favourite perfume to feel better). Sometimes in a crowd place I have the impression that there was a zombie apocalypse, people pay no attention to anyone and nothing more than their own business. This is a challenge, that’s why I recommend creating your own space as pleasant as possible, ignore weird behaviours, just do your own thing. It gives you a bit of comfort and a sense of confidence.
- If you are a sensitive person and you feel sorry for some people, you should think better about someone’s intentions and listen to your intuition. If someone asks for help or talks to you, persuades you to something – how do you feel? There is no unequivocal answer, no formula how to proceed in every situation. Sometimes you can help someone and it is beautiful when you feel that you want to do it, and sometimes it is better to walk away and nurture your loved ones.
- Don’t watch or read dramatic news. Instead, you can look at the website of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs when having some doubts. Take into account that today’s journalism has never been at such negative and low level, so it’s a shame to litter your mind with ordinary news on popular websites and all the “click baits”. In the media you can create anything and everyone, I once wrote a bachelor in journalism about it. You need to be even more careful with Social Media because they are flooded with people who promote negative things under completely different words and pretend to be people they are not at all. When everyone tells you “don’t go there”, examine it thoroughly (maybe it’s just the media dramatizing), but if you just feel something is wrong, listen to your intuition and don’t go there. Earth is large and there are many beautiful places to visit.
- Awareness of cultural differences is also helpful to feel more confident. Once I felt awkward when I came with my Beloved to a certain place, we greeted the residents and one of the men did not give me a hand, he pulled away. Later I found out that in Muslim culture a woman usually does not give a hand shake. Some of them will give the tourist a hand out of politeness, although apparently not everyone.
Malvina Dunder 
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