Be the woman of your dreams.

Malvina Dunder Lilly Be the woman of your dreams. Bądź kobietą swoich marzeń.

Feminine energy✔️
Gender roles✔️
Women Empowerment✔️
Feminine & masculine qualities✔️
Why feminism became masculine?✔️

I’ve heard about this topic many times until I understood how important it is, if I want to better navigate my life. So easy, but it seems we forgot about it long time ago…

Nurturing (smaller & younger. Not grown up people!)
Focused on Relations – connections
Active = doing
Focused on work
Wounded feminine (imbalanced):
Over-giving + sacrifice 
People pleasing 
Wounded masculine (imbalanced):
Abuse of power
Over – competitive 

Every person is a unique blend of those feminine and masculine qualities (both!)

If we can understand them, and learn how to use them (there is a proper time and situation for everything), we can direct our life better, and more consciously.

No extremes are good. The key is to find the inner balance which is different for every person.

The next part is written for women, but also men can read it to understand us better.

For the centuries majority of women were treated worse than men and their survival depended on men. Women had to be “nice”… Now we have more and more independent women which is a really great thing, but some imbalance has occurred…

We forgot how to be feminine and use this super power when it’s needed.

As we can see in the table above, it is feminine to feel and masculine to think. Have you ever developed “feeling” in a balanced way? I haven’t because like most of women in the world, I was rewarded for thinking logically at school, then fixing problems, doing things, controlling the outcome, giving, being fast and even competitive, being disciplined, goal oriented and reasonable. When I felt something, I had to stuff it down and survive in this world. I didn’t feel like wearing a pink blouse, yet I heard “Don’t do drama”. I didn’t want to eat something because it tasted (felt) bad to me, but I heard “well, you have to”. I felt sad and I heard “suck it up”.

Let’s face it, feeling is something undesired and disregarded in this world.
You may even think about ‘feeling’ as something weak, and connected with drama. Yet the world needs us to ‘feel’.

Can you really feel or you think what you feel? Can you easily express emotion? Do you have a problem with that and feel numb, when other time feel like spinning in a whirl of emotions causing drama? 

Feeling is natural and needed. When we feel pain – it is warning us or waking us up. If we wouldn’t feel our body, we might be holding a hand in a fire and do not notice that. How this would end, we all know… When we are stressed or there’s something wrong, we might feel sick in a stomach. It is intuition talking to us. 

There’s also another problem when we women stop feeling. When we are or want to be in a relationship with a man and take over masculine qualities, like doing, giving, logically thinking and giving advices what he should do, moving things forward, pushing, expecting a certain outcome – we are basically competing with him, and that cause a serious friction. I don’t think there’s a man who’d like to be in a relationship with a women with bigger “balls” than him, unless he is a lazy and low quality person.

I know there’s many women, including me in the past, that wish to turn off the ‘feeling’ button. We are stuffing down, and eventually exploding. Do you see how imbalanced is that?

Honor your every feeling and let it go.
Do not react, observe like clouds passing on the sky.

Take a look at this example: x is a very busy woman. She takes care of her family, kids, home, pets, plants and garden. She has hobbies, passions and dreams, but have no time or energy after long day for that. She doesn’t even have time to take care of her basic needs, she looks tired and doesn’t feel herself. Her partner helps her sometimes but he cannot clean or vacuum like her, it’s just not as perfect as she would do it. He also cannot make such a nice and cozy atmosphere at home with warmth and soft light of candles and flower scent of aroma oil in the air. She stays in touch with other people, takes care of relations, family meetings, plans and organise gatherings. Sometimes at night she has to stay up with her sick kids or pets who just need her warm and soothing energy that no-one can replace. She is a strong women who pays her share for everything 50-50.
She stuffs downs her feelings and frustration, because she thinks the world would fall apart without her. However her family can sense this tension and lean back when she needs them because they know she may blow up and they would be in troubles. 

If you can relate, check if you are really 50-50 in this situation…

When you are not used to receiving – it’s like telling the universe “I don’t want nice things to receive”, it causes blocks in receiving anything good in life.

When women are DOING everything for others, it sooner or later end up with exhaustion and frustration. But their families want them to see beautiful, happy, light, warm, giggling, playful, and blooming. They want them to see standing their ground, and expressing boundaries if needed because they look like a queen when they do that. 

Think about your own mother, wouldn’t it be nice to see her like this? Healed and drama free.  

Our stress affects others, whether we hide it or not. 

This work is not about giving nothing and being selfish. Neither about lowering your standard, nor being a doormat. 

Our masculine energy is amazing as well, because we can use it to create the best version of ourselves, and the best life of our dreams. We can directe it from relationship to work where we can be the boss. 

For many women it’s a whole new world that feels at first like learning a new language. It soothes all relations make us feel like a diamond.

Take one more look at the table and think about how you can use it in your daily life.

Be the women of your dreams.

Malvina Dunder book author
Malvina Dunder with love to planet Earth. Travel adventures & conscoius living. Blog podróżniczy, świadome życie, z miłości do planety Ziemi
Books e-books, Malvina Dunder, książki, ebook

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